‘I don’t have that kind of money! Don’t you have matching ones you can give me?’: Intern snaps at coworker for not giving her enough free clothes after she complained she was broke, and can’t afford new clothing

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Oct 12, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Office goodwill gets a real workout when it collides with the modern art of entitlement, and nowhere is this blend more on display than when free clothes are handed out and immediately critiqued. Here's a workplace intern who treats the communal break room like a landfill and borrowed style advice as the opening volley in a personal wardrobe campaign. Thoughtful offers to help with outfits are met not with thanks, but with a retail negotiation heavier on demands than manners. Looks like, in some spaces, the phrase "beggars can't be choosers" is considered a personal attack, not lived reality.

In certain workplaces, generosity morphs into a communal sport, thinly disguised as professional courtesy. Someone's carefully curated closet is viewed as an open invitation to request perfectly matched sweaters, and grace is expected to stretch as far as needed with no questions asked. The etiquette of workplace sharing sometimes loses its charm when the gratitude gap yawns wide and free items transform into bargaining chips instead of gestures of kindness.

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  • Coworker complained I didn’t have more free clothes for her

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  • This woman might be an intern, but she's an absolute pro when it comes to selectively invoking financial hardship to dodge responsibility and justify each new request, as long as there’s still money left over for decadent desserts and takeout. Watching kindness turned into a transaction exposes a certain fatigue unique to any setting where charity is mistaken for obligation and appreciation evaporates faster than last week’s leftovers. In this era of collaborative everything, it’s no wonder that a bag of cast-off dresses causes more office drama than an actual HR meeting.

  • For context, I work in what's essentially a community mental health setting, with a focus on substance ab_e.
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  • As such, we get a lot of interns (that's how I started last year!), most of whom are paid, and we keep quite a few who pass muster, which honestly, is a lot of them.
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  • We have very little turnover, but a large amount of clients, so we tend to have room.
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  • We have an intern now who is... trying on everyone's patience. She leaves the break room a mess regularly.
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  • Dirty dishes on the table or in the sink, food mess on the table, empty wrappers left around, you get the picture.
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  • She also failed her course last semester due to not fulfilling her hours, so she has to repeat.
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  • Now, we all show grace because she does have a dis lity (not sure what and I refuse to ask, but she did mention freely there's little pain, mostly just difficulty with gross motor skills), so we don't judge or assume about work ethic, maybe she had some bad days and couldn't make it.
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  • The messes though are hard to be patient with, however, as to at least toss the wrappers is on the way out of the kitchen.
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  • She literally has to walk past the can on her way out. Apparently it is the same when she uses common office spaces; despite clear and easy access to garbage cans, she leaves her food and wrappers on tables and desks.
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  • We've tried politely mentioning it, but she makes some excuse like "I forgot" or "I was going to do it later." Whatever, it's easier for us to handle it at this point, we don't know her struggle.
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  • She's routinely complained about not being offered a job yet. I sympathized, and asked if they had said a firm "no" yet.
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  • She said no, but that our supervisor was harsh about her notes. I offered to help and she said yes, I took a look and wow, they really were dreadful.
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  • Copy and pasting notes from other clients, which led to errors in diagnoses, races, and genders!
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  • That's a huge problem since we work in the mental health field and insurance can already be a nightmare to deal with even when we do our work right.
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  • I guided her through it, but she became frustrated and said it was too confusing. The other coworkers in her department gave her guided outlines, and in laymen's terms.
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  • Same thing, "too hard/confusing." Like, girl, how do you intend to do this as a full time job for a government agency?!
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  • (Her goal.) Again, trying to show grace. We don't know what it's like for her, just show repeated patience and guidance, treat her like we want to be treated.
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  • Until today. Hoo, boy. I'm a thicker lady, but wear nice clothes to the office. I've found good sellers and decent manufacturers, usually around $30-$50 average price, $20 or so on clearance, which is how I tend to snag some good deals.
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  • She's close to my size, and asked me where I shopped, I told her the various places and prices.
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  • She said it was too expensive, ok fair, I know the struggle, but that I may have a few items of clothing I'm not wearing anymore she could have.
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  • She was ecstatic and so I brought in multiple pieces, including shirts, dresses, and shrugs/cardigans. She took a few tops, but then sneered at the dresses.
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  • "I'm not wearing those," she snapped. "The straps are too thin and will show my bra." "Oh no sweat, I'm the same way, so I wear shrugs or cardigans over them.
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  • Keeps me looking professional, and they're pretty cheap online if you don't like the ones I brought.
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  • I can show you, they're maybe $10 a pop." "I don't have that kind of money!
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  • Don't you have matching ones you can give me?" "Uh... no, I'm using the ones I have.
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  • The ones I brought are the ones I don't need." "I'm sure you have another one you're not using.
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  • I've seen you wear a different white one, how about that one? You have two." "They're different shades and go with different dresses.
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  • I use both of them, sorry. But the one you're talking about was $12, I can send you the link..." "I already told you I'm broke!
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  • Can't you just give it to me?" "...No. Sorry." "Ugh, fine. Then take these back, I don't want them," and tosses the dresses haphazardly back in the bag.
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  • Meanwhile, she admits to ordering out for most of her meals, including a pretty expensive chain known for their $12 desserts, which she gets regularly.
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  • Like idk man, maybe you could buy your own sweater if you didn't buy $30 spaghetti and $12 cake every week.
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  • Or at least be polite and grateful about when someone just hands you about $200 worth of free clothing that you could absolutely rock the sh out of if you spent $10 on a sweater.
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  • I try to view it from her perspective, rationalize it through the lens of her different ability, but I don't think there's any excuse for being so entitled about the FREE clothes.
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  • Whatever, hopefully she enjoys the tops. At least they're not going to be $50 at Goodwill or something, lol.
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  • hotgirlwtummyissue13 As someone working on my counseling degree (license will be after graduation), oh. my god. Copy and pasting client notes?!?!?!!! I haven't even made it to the actual point of the post and I'm in awe of the audacity!!
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Right?! She listed a Hispanic man as "Caucasian" and a black woman as a man. Like girl!!!
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  • Texas Liz1 Accommodating disa lities does not mean letting this woman get away with sh behavior and frankly bad work, work bad enough to get you on the wrong side of an auditor. If she cannot do the job, she can't do the job. ADA guidelines require employers to make "reasonable accommodations" - not take whatever sh she wants to dish out. And if she has the wherewithal to buy, unwrap and eat food then she well can throw away her trash and wipe down areas she has used. When she "forgets" tell her
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Yeah, I think we got so worried about being ableist we became enablers
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  • mrdumbazcanb How has she not been let go for how bad at her job she sounds. Doesn't it take more work for you a to clean up after her than if you just didn't have her
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Imo yeah, I'm surprised they took her back after she failed, but there's a contract with her school which is tricky to get out of (I had the same thing). Plus I think my boss feels bad for her. That's her business, and at least she's cleaning up most of the mess, we just try to support where possible because we like our boss.
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  • No-Koala 1918 Accurate record keeping and reporting are essential though. She seems incapable of doing the job.
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  • OP Lurking_Moose For sure. Unfortunately, it's up to my boss and my coworker's school, plus the contract. At least my boss can fix stuff before it's submitted to insurance, but I'm sure she's sick of it, too.
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  • No-Koala 1918 Okay, I've got to ask. What exactly does it take to get washed out as an intern?
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Inappropriate personal behavior toward a client. Zero tolerance. I think anything else is considered "teachable"
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  • FirebirdWriter Someone like her nearly cost me my Medicaid access during cancer treatment a few years ago because they used those bad notes to document my birthday. It took 3 years to actually fix and I had to carry a ton of paperwork and fight for any care. Her dis lity doesn't give her a pass on behavior like this to me. Of course I no longer can work because of many issues including a brain injury but I would have said "I guess I'll take these back then." It's fine to be nice but you need to
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Yah, lesson learned for sure! And I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you're doing better! F cancer. At least my boss is overseeing it to make sure no one gets screwed.
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  • PieSuccessful7794 Please consider donating to a local battered women's shelter. Many need clothes to interview for decent jobs in order to stand up for themselves and cannot afford nice clothes. Especially larger women.; slim pickings. A long time ago I donated about $500 of size 26/28 business type clothes to a shelter. 2 months later I received an email from the shelter with a note from a woman who got benefit of some of the clothes. She was able to interview for a great job bc she looked good
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Omg thank you!!! I forgot about this! Going to find one now, thank you!
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  • Southern_Hamster_338 They've let other interns go... but kept HER! She shouldn't be anywhere near the patient charts! Please speak to your manager and explain the incompetence related to patient care as y'all could be held liable for her ineptitude. Dis ility aside, she could potentially cause someone to not have their needed medical issues covered by insurance if someone misses her constant mistakes.
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Her department trainers have spoken to our boss. At this point, her mistakes are considered "teachable" and my boss has coached and directed her (and has the power to fix the issues in the system before approval). She's under contract, which can be tricky to get out of with the school, and I think my boss feels bad for her, too. Once her term is up though, hours completed or not, I bet she's out the door.
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  • Aggravating-Web-9728 Unrelated but can you send me the stores or links to where you shop? I'll be doing my internship soon.
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  • OP Lurking_Moose Sure! DMing so people don't think I'm advertising haha
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  • cashflow_master Fudge your coworker. Dont give any more clothes to her. Moving on...
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  • OP Lurking_Moose For sure. She can dress her darn self from now on. I'll donate some and maybe keep one or two for larger female clients who may need an interview outfit, though.
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management boss workplace-stories hr manager bosses work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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